Last weekend I attended a 10th wedding anniversary celebration of two friends. I had attended the actual wedding a decade ago, and looked forward to the evening. Even with my excitement, the gathering far exceeded my expectations.
The couple had reserved a beautiful room in the back of a lovely restaurant. Appetizers, drinks, dinner and a toasting cocktail were provided. At a certain moment of the dinner, the couple asked us the group, sitting at two long tables, to introduce ourselves so we could see how our lives intertwined. Later, the man made a toast to the woman and the woman made a toast to us, the friends gathered. Both toasts brought me to tears.
It was clear that the couple had put real thought into creating an intentional celebration. The guest list was built with care, and it was an honor to be in the room. Both people living far away from home, they had built a found family, and we were it.
I believe in found family, and talk about it often. For one reason or another, parents and siblings can’t always provide in the way that we need them to. They can’t be our everything. We can, however, build a found family over the years. We can reach out to mother and father figures and invest in found siblings. We can find ourselves among family regardless of genetic make up.
For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. –Psalm 27:10
We are, indeed, beloved children of God. We’re in. We’re loved. At its best, our spiritual community can be an extension of God’s love, a found family. They can love us despite our faults. They can weep with and laugh with us. They can welcome us in, and pray for us when we have no words.
My friends created a thin space, a place where found family came together to eat great food and share special conversation. It was a reminder of what church can be when strengthened by the love of God the Parent.