I-Thou

Photo via Flickr user Harwig HKD
Photo via Flickr user Harwig HKD

This week, Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg’s Podcast Nurture the Wowcast reminded me of the importance of incorporating Martin Buber’s I-Thou idea of relationship when approaching my small child. This is one small way that parenting is a spiritual practice.

It is important, especially in the middle of a tantrum, to really see our children. Instead of seeing our children as a frustration or problem or obstacle in getting out the door, we are called to see the world through their lens. God wants us to see and honor their full humanity.

Buber categorizes relationships into I-It and I-Thou. I-It relationships happen when we see the other as an object. I-Thou connections are sacred. We see the beauty of the other’s full personhood. I-Thou is the relationship we have with God.

The podcast was a simple, powerful reminder to seek I-Thou relationships not only with my child, but with all the people I encounter in my day. How am I treating the worker at the grocery store? Another mom at the park? My co-worker? My spouse? Who is this person? Can I try to see them today?

We can remember to see the people, friends and strangers alike. We can look for the desire, needs, fear and complex nature of the soul in front of us. This posturing of curiosity and seeking, I believe, is sacred, and can make a difference in our increasingly polarized and digitized world.

Published by Ellie Roscher

Ellie Roscher is the author of How Coffee Saved My Life, and Other Stories of Stumbling to Grace. She holds a master’s degree in Theology/Urban Ministry from Luther Seminary and an MFA in Creative Nonfiction writing at Sarah Lawrence College.

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